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:iconcraytato:
This critique is on behalf of the group :iconwriters-at-heart:
First of I would like to say that the image was good. Though it was a little shaky here and there, for instance the beginning. I couldn't really grasp an image from them, but as the poem went on the image got a little better.
I found the occasional font change of words interesting yet a little distracting at the same time. I would read your poem and come across the change and get drawn to that for a moment before returning to read again, but that's enough time for me to forget a bit of what I was reading. Though it was an interesting change, not entirely a bad thing.
The technique and format you used was interesting to say the least. The plot and theme of this piece was received well with little distractions and breaks in the flow.
I am not so sure about the impact though, I got the point of the poem, it just didn't do wonders for me. It's not an "Oh wow this was spectacular!" But it was enough to satisfy me a little.

But overall good job! :)
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the lovely critique, darling! :tighthug:

I agree that this is not my best poem. :no: I actually suffered from a flash of writer's block when I sat down to write this. Sadly, if I did not enter this round for the contest at all - I would have felt worse. :shrug:

The good thing about bad poetry, however; is that we learn from our mistakes. That is the true reason I appreciate your critique. :squee:

:heart: *OfOneSoul
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:iconcraytato:
Craytato Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome^^ :hug:

Haha xD aahh Writer's Block =w= That lovely thing. . . Well it's understandable :) Writer's Block isn't something to be happy about of course xD But I do commend you for writing while you have one ^^ Most people tend to not force themselves to write. . Like me xD

And yes~! :D Learning from mistakes is good ^^ Aww well I am glad to know that critiques I make are of use to some people :)

:heart:
Poet
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:giggle: Writing while having writer's block is incredibly painful, to say the least. ^^; But you're right; at least I made it through it. :shakefist:
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:iconcraytato:
Craytato Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha I can relate. . It's like purposefully giving yourself a headache in hopes of maybe writing something worthwhile. . If not that, inducing a headache purposefully so you can write about how much the headache hurts xD Even then, that doesn;t work most times xD

Haha~! Glad to hear~! So then I assume you aren't in a Writers Block anymore? :)

Thanks for the watch by the way~! ^^
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome, dearie! :tighthug:

And thank you for the return watch. :hug: And I think I was only suffering because of that one poem. The theme was so loose and I felt I was forcing myself to create something. Still, I'm glad I made it. :phew:
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:iconcraytato:
Craytato Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^^ :hug:

You're very welcome^^ haha xD usually a lot of people defeat Writer's Block by writing something. . It usually kicks it out :P Sadly it doesn't work for me. . .
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sure you'll find a way. :smooch: All it takes is a little inspiration. :nuu:
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:iconcraytato:
Craytato Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL I guess so^^
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